Side Effects & Diversions

Current side effects of the 2 week wait:

1. Crazy Butt Pain. These progesterone shots are killer. It's not the shot itself, but the aftermath. Yesterday, I felt like a little old lady who needed help just to roll off the couch. In some weird, sadomasachistic way, I actually like these shots because they make me feel like I'm still doing something to keep those little cells viable. Maybe I just got addicted to giving myself shots every night - it sometimes feels like something is missing these days....

2. Cramps. I get nervous when I get them and nervous when I don't. I've read that they're normal and don't mean anything one way or the other, but that sure is hard to buy right now. Yes, I'm still avoiding Dr. Google - he'll be more of an issue next week, if I know me.

3. Anxiety. I'm dealing this by doing nice things for myself. I got a pedicure this afternoon and on the advice of a good friend, purchased a copy of Twilight this afternoon.

Here's to focusing on bloodthirsty vampires instead of dividing embryos.

Thanks, A.

Return to Real Life

I returned to real life today, and I made it through the day. I'm definitely not on my A-game at work, but I'm doing my best. There were several moments when I became so engrossed in work drama today that I realized afterward I hadn't questioned whether our embryos were still dividing in nearly ten minutes.

The highlight of my day was the welcome back I got from my staff - one of them approached me this morning: "Leslie, we're so glad you're back. I'm just going to tell you on the downlow that people have been talking about where you've been...some people thought that you've been out sick because you're pregnant."

UGH!!! Insert forced laugh here and change subject. Quickly.

Thanks to everyone for all your great comments and support yesterday.

Also of note, I was really moved by Cassandra's post today about Affirmations and thought that you might want to check it out, along with all the comments. Very encouraging. And, by the way, she just got a surprise BFP. Stop by and congratulate her and enjoy a very uplifting post.

One more day down....

P.S. Photo today is what I'm praying is happening in my uterus about now.

Transfer Day

For anyone out there who is contemplating the pros and cons of IVF, making it to Transfer Day definitely goes in the priceless column. Regardless of the outcome of this whole experience, seeing your little embryos for the first time is a moving achievement in the IF journey.

The clinic staff did an amazing job of making this a very special experience for us, giving us pictures and the petri dish our embryos were growing in. (By the way, I want to post these pictures but am still trying to figure that out).

We were able to see the embryos magnified thousands of times on a television screen as they pulled them up through the catheter.

We put back two embryos - a 7 cell and an 8 cell. Dr. A. said that things looked good - and that the embryos actually looked like they had developed further by the time of transfer (which was later than scheduled originally yesterday).

No word on the other embryos other than they are still growing. We'll find out later as to whether or not they'll make it to freeze.

Today, I'm on bedrest and trying to take it easy. I'm watching my favorite shows and praying at regular intervals that this is going to work.

It's a leap of faith, I know. I feel so much better knowing that we were able to get this far, and I'm just focusing on that right now. I'm trying not to focus too much on the risk we have taken and the fear of failure.

Right now, I'm just enjoying my embryo high.

Thanks again to everyone for your unfailing support and prayers throughout this crazy cycle. You make the experience so much more easy to live through.

We Have Embryos!!!

Today we are celebrating that this is the absolute closest we've come!! After almost 2 1/2 years and absolutely NO positive pregnancy tests, we have embryos!!!

No matter what happens with this process, I have a renewed hope that I have never experienced before.

The report:

All 9 of our fertilized eggs have divided. The lab says they like to see them at 2-4 cell at this point.

2 are at 4 cell.

1 is a 3 cell.

6 are at 2 cell

One of the 2 cells has a little more fragmentation than they would like.

Transfer is a 3-day - and is scheduled for tomorrow at 2:15.

Please continue to pray for us as we move forward. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to move further into this process with the knowledge that we have what it takes to make these little marvels, which is a tremendous relief to me - no matter what the outcome (Make sure you remind me of that in the 2 week wait - ha ha).