I’m realizing in this infertility journey that people ultimately react to you differently when you’re "childless" in much the same way I used to think that "marrieds" treated single people. Once people have a kid, all they really want is to be with people of their own kind, particularly when their child is old enough to walk, talk and generally have a personality. I’m fine with that I suppose. I guess it’s the natural order of events.
This morning I was told by a friend of mine (who is also the mother of a 1+ year-old child) that she didn’t have much time to visit this afternoon because they were "having people over" before she leaves for a long trip over the summer on Thursday. I couldn’t help but think about the fact that this time a year or so ago, we would have been "the people" and now I’m not even privy to who the hell "the people" are.
Of course, I’m processing this information as my body is desperately trying to manage raging hormones (on top of the ones I have naturally!) so maybe I’m a little over the edge here. It’s just that us being "childless" sure didn’t seem to matter to these friends when we rushed to the hospital to see their new baby or when we dropped everything to attend a first birthday party earlier this year.
L. says it’s just the way things are…when you have kids, you want to see your kids with other kids. Well, when you’re in your 30s and childless, the injustice of infertility sure doesn’t do anything for your social life, and on a more painful note, it really makes you question the depth of your relationships to begin with.
On to tomorrow…for those of you who read this blog (and are unofficially members of "Team Infertility" – our most faithful supporters), I know you’ll be thinking of us and our three follicles. Please whisper a prayer for us and the millions of sperm who will be joining us in the morning.
Chickenshit, Part 3
6 months ago