8 Weeks, 6 Days: Hope Re-enters

I love my life these days. I'm feeling stronger every day and am more convinced about the health of our baby.

Most recently, my typical glass is half empty/worry about everything attitude has been challenged by reading Emily's blog (which incidentally, is of a similar name to mine - "What to Expect When You're NOT Expecting"). She recently got her BFP, and has been awe-inspiringly hopeful since her beta. This is the kind of hope and attitude that I believe is best for our baby, and I'm working on embracing this moment instead of succumbing to worry and fear. I really appreciate her optimism and "enjoy-every-minute" mentality.

I think about this little life inside me from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, and many, many times in between.

Thusfar, our baby has given us no crazy, violent symptoms - just a quiet nausea, food cravings and aversions and most recently, a tasty case of metal mouth. It's just enough to know he/she is down there with a beating heart, and we're smiling through the whole thing: "Money in the bank", as my good friends T. & S. say.

I don't know how many times each day I smile to myself and say, "I can't believe this is actually happening to us."

We've received a few gifts here and there from several close friends and family, which has been a great reminder that this is all actually happening. My friend M. brought over a toy with a little pull cord that plays "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", a song from our wedding. It was so special and even more so because she bought it 2 years ago and has been waiting all this time to give it to us. My parents sent a special bear, our friends A & C sent some cute bibs and my friend S. sent an assortment of baby items "to get us started".

This outpouring of support has been amazing, and I cry every time I open a package with a card that reads "...And Baby Makes Three" - I still can't believe it is actually meant for our little family.

I am working on allowing myself to feel completely hopeful about this pregnancy. We are here, and it's an amazing moment in our lives. I have loved every minute of being pregnant, and believe that this is the most beautiful miracle God has ever created for us.

Hope is something that's been an alien (and inconsistent) concept to me over the last couple of years, and it feels good to feel it re-enter my life. I've missed it.