Writings dedicated to the ongoing roller coaster of our infertility experience
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Great Big Spotted Elephant & The Plague
Today I'm struggling with the sickening irony that I'm preparing to throw a baby shower for my friend three days after I start shooting myself up with Lupron. And if that's not ironic enough, consider the fact that we'll be in the 2ww when she gives birth.
This is my friend who absolutely doesn't get it. For those girls out there who procreate like rabbits - I don't expect much understanding (and am pleasantly surprised when I get it). However, perhaps I expect a little more of her given that she's been through IVF twice.
To the contrary, her understanding of what I'm going through reminds me of a spoiled girl who expects you to be her primary wedding planner while you're amidst the nastiest divorce.
Many months ago, in an effort to salvage the relationship, I encouraged her to process this whole situation with me. This wasn't easy as she prefers to ignore the growing, fat, spotted elephant in the living room. Ultimately, however, she expressed that she wished it had been me who got pregnant first because she would have handled it "so much better" than I did.
If you can't tell, I'm still having a hard time with that one. I guess I wasn't aware that there is a "right" or a "wrong" way of handling this situation. I certainly don't remember expressing anything like that to her while she was going through it. How soon she has forgotten that now that IF is in her backyard instead of her front!!
Frankly, I feel the need to protect myself through this process from her and people like her who always have a healthy dose of negativity to heap on me. I guess the old adage applies here - if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all.
And if you insist on continuing to talk, I'm not just going to sit back and listen.
I'm going to avoid you like the plague - after I help with your baby shower, of course.
That's what "supportive" friends do for each other, isn't it?
I have been married to my husband for 2 years, and I think he's more amazing every day. I work full time in management, and on most days I love what I do. Also, I'm 34 and making it my personal mission to ignore what the statistics have to say about my next birthday and the odds of conception.