Writings dedicated to the ongoing roller coaster of our infertility experience
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Standing (Stationary) in the Emergency Lane
So, today was a little downhill for me.
I attended my work's "Family Fun Day", an event for all the Agency staff, families, kids, etc. Calling it a "Fun" day is a bit of a stretch, because it didn't feel too damned fun to me.
First of all, why is it that everywhere I go, someone is compelled to share their pregnancy story, their daughter's pregnancy story or, hell, even their cat's pregnancy story? It's as if I have something written on my forehead that says, "Tell me about how easy it was for you (and/or anyone you know) to procreate."
Secondly, I feel so left out. I'm either surrounded by early 20-somethings who haven't even begun thinking about pregnancy (and the daunting prospect of IF isn't even a blip on their radar screens - how I miss those days!) or 30-somethings who have children who look old enough to enter high school. I swear, I look at some of these kids and feel so behind. I find myself wondering if I missed something somewhere...how the hell did I get here again?
I guess that "family" can mean many different things, and right now, my family is L. I do feel fortunate for that, as well as the many other blessings in my life. But you know, sometimes it just feels like the whole world is forging ahead, and I'm standing on the side of the road looking at everyone whizzing past.
Another lovely day in IF world. Here's to a better day tomorrow...I'll let you know about that.
I have been married to my husband for 2 years, and I think he's more amazing every day. I work full time in management, and on most days I love what I do. Also, I'm 34 and making it my personal mission to ignore what the statistics have to say about my next birthday and the odds of conception.