Wednesday, September 10, 2008

AF is the Ultimate Witch from Hell

Well, the ultimate "Hail Mary" cycle* is about to conclude, but not without a little tease from my dear friend Aunt Flo. AF & I have become very tight over the last 23 months - I know her every trick, twinge, and cramp. Of course, this month in my heart I can't help but think how wonderful it would be to have a story that begins with this:

"L & I were on the verge of doing IVF, and right before we signed on the dotted line to purchase our fresh and frozen cycles, there they were - two pink lines!!!!"

This is not our story, of course, and AF is determined to play a few Jedi Mind Tricks before we submerge ourselves into a sea of needles and hormones. She begins with the smallest amount of spotting and then adds a few minor cramps. When I refuse to acknowledge her attempts to drive me mad (as well as everyone else around me), she decides to play with my mind for at least 3 to 4 days.

She is satisfied only when she manages to coerce me into a full blown, obsessive google search for "implantation bleeding" and "implantation cramps". Trust me, you can always find a woman out there somewhere in cyberspace who has experienced the exact same "premenstural" symptoms as you before realizing she was knocked up. I've read it over and over: "It felt just like my period was getting ready to start..."

So, enough, already AF! I get it, damn it, and I know exactly what you're doing! Let's just get this thing going so we can officially start the IVF countdown/kickoff!!

Hell, haven't you tortured us enough over the last 23 months???!!!

*Note: I want to attribute the term "Hail Mary Cycle" to my blogger friend Nancy. I picked up this expression on your blog, and I absolutely love it!


Hope2morrow said...

Ugh! AF sucks! Good riddance to that lady and bring on the positive IVF results!

Alex and Jill said...

Okay, blogger ate my comment so sorry if this is sent twice! :)

I have been there...after 25 months, I continue to look for those two pink lines, google like crazy trying to find someone who has experienced the exact same thing. I think it's nice that we still have hope like that though...even after all the disappointment we have been through, ya know? :)

I'm so excited for you guys and I'm praying!!!


Emily said...

LOVE this post! The googling part is so true.

Sorry AF is on your door step and GL with the IVF cycle. I always have a renewed sense of hope at the beginning of a new IVF cycle.

learningtobestillandknow said...

Stupid AF!

womb for improvement said...

Don't get me started on Aunt Flo (well actually would quite like to get started but that's a whole different blog)! And what is with pmt and pregnancy symptoms being so similar? At what point in our evolution did that become a good thing?

Emma's Mommy said...

I hate AF!!! And she doesn't take the hint but keeps showing up for a visit every month. You would think after 23 months, she would realize that she isn't wanted anymore!

I am in my 2ww. Please say a little prayer that AF doesn't make a pit stop at my house. :-)

I Believe in Miracles said...

I like this post. You're funny Leslie!!! I totally wish that we both had that story, but alas.... I'm hopeful for this IVF cycle for you!!! Maegan said...

I know what you mean about knowing every last twinge and cramp and HOPING that the pink is implantation bleeding and not the dreaded period.

We haven't started any treatments yet, just {after a year of kind of trying} getting serious about it now...and I want to try EVERYTHING before the possibility of having a litter of babies.

Just randomly came across your blog while searching for pics of stepford wives and so glad I did...adding you to my blog roll.

my fingers are crossed for you!

nancy said...

I used that term, but sure it wasn't me you heard it from :)