Sunday, February 22, 2009

Close Encounters of the Jackass Kind

On Friday I started spotting and called the Clinic, fearing that we might miss our window if I actually waited for red blood flow like a normal person. Thus, Dr. A. wanted me to drive up for an ultrasound on Saturday.

Fortunately, my sister came into town on Friday afternoon and since L. was working, we made the drive together on Saturday morning.

I lost track of the speed limit somewhere between discussing her latest male conquest and the injustice of her friend who got a girl pregnant during their 2 month relationship which has subsequently ended in paternity testing and attorneys (EERRGGHH!! Stories like that drive me mad!!!).

When (20-something) Mr. Cop Jackass pulled us over, I began inwardly perseverating over how long he was going to detain us and whether or not I would make the appointment on time.

Mr. Cop Jackass: "Good Morning. Where are you ladies headed this morning?"

Me: "We're going to the Clinic."

Mr. Cop Jackass: "Oh, well, what takes you to the Clinic?"

Me (Seriously consider telling him it was none of his damn business, before my fear of a $200 ticket in addition to the $300+ for today's ultrasound overtook me, making me a bit of a pansy ass.): "Ummmm, infertility treatment."

Mr. Cop Jackass: "Oh, so nothing emergent."

Me (Uhhh, dude, I turn 35 less than 3 months, so it sure feels emergent to me): "Well...actually, it is pretty emergent."

Mr. Cop Jackass (with only the faintest flash of embarrassment): "Well, I'm going to let you off with a warning this time, but you need to slow it down."


I'm sure Mr. Cop Jackass was inwardly applauding his own virility, thinking IF would never happen to him and his super masculine sperm, but at least he found it in his heart to let me get to my appointment, without adding another $200 to the debt pile.

The ultrasound showed that my lining (12) is too thick for meds, and it needs to shed.

A.F. swooshed in around 11 p.m. last night.

I'll call for next steps today, but I'm sensing re-entry into the IVF Funhouse.


Mo and Will said...

leslie, great story - and LOVE the photo. I agree that this all feels pretty emergent to me too. if i could get ticketed for walking too fast (don't drive in nyc!), i'm sure i would!

glad you made it to the clinic and got AF. hang in there!


Megan said...

I'm glad you didn't get a ticket. Funny story.

Alex and Jill said...

This story is hilarious. My favorite line..."Uhhh, dude, I turn 35 less than 3 months, so it sure feels emergent to me."

So true. LOL

Praying for you, girl...thanks for the update!


womb for improvement said...

I dunno, the fact that he had the courtesy to let you off without a fine - not so jack-assish.
And thick womb lining - I know all about that, hope it gets sorted for next time.

Penny said...

Run-ins with the police never fail to piss me off, even when I know I'm in the wrong. Just, couldn't you let go of the paranoid that I'm going to leap out of the car and shoot you? Just once? Because you FREAK ME OUT.

Emily said...

Great pic & I am so glad he let you off with a warning. GL!

Lea said...

Sorry you had to deal with Mr. Masculine. I think it's plenty emergent. Grrr.

Glad you didn't get a ticket though!

Mick said...

I hate overzealous cops.

Did you know that they don't call them pigs in Poland (like they do in Ireland)? They call them dogs.

I love dogs, so I still call them pigs :-)

(BTW only the zealous ones..)

Anonymous said...

In regards to Studley Dudley ...
could have been Kerry's boyfriend !!!

LANIE said...

You make me smile on some of my worst days!! funny story!!