Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.
A good friend of mine likened the anxiety I've been feeling over the last few days to pausing at the edge of the high dive, looking down at the water and preparing to jump. This was a perfect analogy because mentally it was time to begin this process days ago.Tonight, we begin Lupron shots. I'm a little excited, a lot nervous - I know we are moving a step closer to the conclusion of this process which is so very frightening.
I'll admit, I have a tendency to overanalyze a little (not surprising to those of you who know me well). While this is sometimes a great quality, it makes this process a little more challenging. IVF was a decision we arrived at with much thought and even consternation. It wasn't a simple choice for us by any means, so actually getting started evokes some fear along with the excitement of forging ahead.
Today, I'm trying to relax as I look down at some pretty choppy, wavy water. I'm not sure what's ahead for us, and it's natural to feel some anxiety about that.
So, here goes.
Thank you so much for your prayers - as I get loaded up on hormones over these next few weeks, L. and anyone else who spends significant amounts of time with me might need a little spiritual support (and guidance) as well.
Postscript: Another friend of mine loaned me a book from which I took the above quote. It's called When Things Fall Apart. While the title might sound a little ominous to you, it really is a great account of looking fear in the face through meditation and a realistic perspective with a sense of hope. I highly recommend it!