Filling the Glass: An Honest Attempt at Optimism

After a weekend of irrational, negative thoughts, I am trying to turn a corner. Thus, I've compiled a list of reasons our glass is fuller than I was willing to admit on Friday. I'm focusing on the fact that all is not lost, and we're still moving...in some direction, anyway.

• Because I have L: L. has been a rock through this. He took the reins on Thursday, called the clinic and arranged for another ultrasound. Given that all I could do was cry and wonder how I was going to make it through my next work meeting, I felt so blessed to have his backup. I am so glad that we are in this together.


• Because I have so much support: Thank you all so much for your support through this hurdle. I am really grateful for it. Every phone call, voicemail, e-mail, text message and blog comment mean the absolute world to me. It's amazing how much better we can make each other feel through just a small demonstration of support and encouragement.


• Because I have an amazing mother: My mother has the patience of Job. She has been there for me any time I have needed her since this whole I.F. thing began. She faithfully (and tirelessly) listens and reassures me through my ongoing stream of irrational thoughts.


• Because we still have the hope of a successful cycle. This little hiccup doesn't mean that the jig is up (Thank you, Penny, for your comment on Friday which reminded me of that). There still might be two pink lines (or in our case a very nice telephone call from Debbie the Nurse) at the end of this whole thing.


• Because God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I admit, I struggle with this especially at times like this, and I feel like screaming out that I literally can't take anything else. However, the gentle reminder on Nity's post (Thursday, Oct. 16) really affected me (positively). I'm working on getting over my "human-ness" and trying to find that faith again.


• Because of the dedication of my British acupuncturist: She spent 45 minutes on the phone with me prior to our appointment on Friday evening processing this whole thing. She changed her treatment, and recommended brown rice, adzuki beans and minimal animal proteins. I think she is wonderful and would consider jumping off a bridge if she told me to - I currently have a large bag of long grain brown rice and several cans of beans on our kitchen counter.

So, there it is. These are the thoughts I'm trying to live by right now.

Here's to hoping for a glass that's brimming over with fertility for us all...