Well, I survived.It was a day of numerous unpleasantries - a room of stay-at-home moms who don't give a damn about a woman with a career, a 7 week old infant of one of those "I-got-pregnant-after-one-night-of-sex-types", another mom-to-be wearing a dress so tight you could see her navel (bloody show-off!) and, of course, my lovely "IVF friend" in all her glory.
Lesson learned: I am amazed at my strength (and self restraint).
I took the advice of several of you and stayed as busy as possible throughout "the event" and made damn sure that I didn't have to be a part of any of those ridiculous games. I also stuck to the two people in the room who don't have children and found this to be of tremendous help.
And, I made it.
Afterward, I chatted with my "IVF friend", and I made it through listening to baby name deliberations, nursery decor and birth weight anxieties. I also had the privilege of listening to her birth date hopes -"I just don't want a baby born on Halloween - anything but that!"
And, for the millionth time I was struck by this woman's insensitivity - hell, I'm presuming I'm not alone in saying that I'd give anything to have a baby born on any day of the week, month or year. And, I would think that someone who's been through IVF wouldn't be picky. Guess not.
She tried to get me to talk about our IVF cycle (three times), and I redirected each attempt because I'm officially done with this aspect of our relationship. I don't trust that she won't hurt me in some way with an insensitive, uninformed comment about the general population's infertility issues, and I'm setting this limit so that L. & I can have as positive of an experience as possible.
And, I'm not going to explain this or justify it to myself anymore. It is what it is, and I have to take care of myself. Quite simply, this relationship is toxic to me right now.
I'm glad I experienced yesterday and faced my fear because I know that if I can emotionally make it through that, I can make it through this IVF cycle, one way or the other.
Thank you for your thoughts, support and prayers yesterday. Along with many prayers of my own and divine intervention on many levels, they're what got me through the day.
13 comments:
Glad you made it. :) It's tough, though, I know...others have suggested to me to opt out of such events, but I've never been able to do that...hopefully you won't have too many more to attend w/o you yourself being pregnant :)
Good for you -- glad you made it through the day with grace.
Well done.
I still think the attitude of this friend is quite amazing.
Good for you! I'm so proud of you for surviving and for taking care of yourself by putting up some boundaries with your friend! Excellent news!
Keep on keeping on, girl! It's what we do, and you will get through it because of your strength.
Just went to one of the dreaded showers myself last week. You just have to smile and act like it's the most fun you've had in years or you come off as a b---- who can't get past your own infertility. Glad you made it through. I had no doubts that you would. Love,Lanie
YEAH!!! I'm so proud of you. :o)
Yay! Glad you made it through and that it's over. :)
Praying for you during this IVF cycle, girl.
((HUGS))
Of all the people you think your IVF 'friend' would understand. Lest we forget, your post is a lesson for all of us when we are on the other side - 'cause we will get there...
To the woman who doesn't want a baby born on Halloween....
"I'll take it! I'll take it!"
Geesh. To be so lucky as to complain about a freakin' birth date. Good job, anyhow, navigating that mine field :)
BTW - The St. Gerard Feast is Sept 16-19, Newark, NJ
Whew... I'm glad that's over. I hate that you have been stressing over this but glad it is done with. Now, you can concentrate on your family and practice self preservation. Stay away from the negativity. By the way, I'm very impressed with this site. I have started looking for one for orphans. I think it is an invaluable support system.
Well done on surviving that. I'm so glad we don't have the tradition of baby showers in Ireland.
Just got caught up on your blog. I am so glad that your made it through the day. I remember when we were trying to have a baby and all our friends were popping them out like rabbits. I am still praying for you. I hope the Lupron is not affecting you too badly. I finally decided to give the Clomid another try - but I absolutely hate how it makes me feel. I know you also had some issues with it and I pray that the Lupron does not do that to you. I love your attitude about all of it. You are an inspiration to many!!!
At every point in my life I have hated rooms full of moms who's only interest seems to be their precious child(ren). It is irritating to be sure, even with out infertility at your side.
I'm glad you survived, not only the shower but your insensitive-former-IVF friend. That sounds like a lot to take all at once.
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